Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Music for My Life?***

Got this survey through Dave.

This was really difficult for me!

***After further thought, I had to make some changes. check it.

Your Life: The Soundtrack

Created by aiko and taken 31746 times on bzoink!

Opening creditsNot Alone- Patty Griffin
Waking upNew Year- Death Cab for Cutie
Average dayWe Go On- The Normals
First dateBe Careful- Patty Griffin
Falling in loveAnna Begins- Counting Crows
Love sceneSo Are You To Me- EastMountainSouth
Fight sceneNever Get What You Want- Patty Griffin
Breaking upAt This Moment- Billy Vera and the Beaters
Getting back togetherWhen it Don't Come Easy- Patty Griffin
Secret loveGreen and Gray- Nickel Creek
Life's okayFriday, I'm in Love- The Cure
Mental breakdownCome Pick Me Up- Ryan Adams
DrivingRomeo on the Radio- The Normals
Learning a lessonPoughkepsie- Over the Rhine
Deep thoughtHappy- 100 Portraits
FlashbackQuite Often- Trent Dabbs
PartyingAll Night Long- Will Hoge
Happy danceMy Sharona- The Knack
RegretingToo Far To Walk- Andrew Osenga
Long night alonePlease Do Not Let Me Go- Ryan Adams
Death sceneGive Me Jesus
Closing creditsPeter Pan- Patty Griffin/Requiem- John Rutter

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yeah, yeah, so I like Patty Griffin's stuff a lot. deal with it. = )

Monday, July 25, 2005


I've told you this before, but let me say it again: I think in pictures. I wonder what it would be like if I lost my sight. Have I stored up enough visions in my short twenty-six years in order to continue thinking in pictures? Could I ever store up enough images, soak in enough beauty and splendor from the world around me?

Perhaps the movie-screen of my mind would become more Wonka-esque. In the absence of reinforced visual reality, maybe my imagination would finally be free to wander into other worlds and dreams. Greens might thrive more vividly and blues might swirl into greys and purples and blacks until they merged, finally and indefinitely as one.

I like to imagine even the most ordinary, mundane tasks as pictures. Breathing, for instance. I like to close my eyes and take deep breathes, imagining the air flooding into my lungs as water released through a valve. It plunges in a sense, my breath. As I inhale, air swirls down my windpipe, plunges into my lungs, pooling for a moment in an oxygen eddy before the next batch of fresh air moves in, displacing the old.

Unfortunately, however, that sensation occurs mostly on good days. Then there are days like today. Today my breath stops short, just before reaching my clavicles, and turns around immediately. Days like this I tend to constantly yawn. Days like this, I wish I could go back to bed and not deal with any pictures or words or any form of cognizance, really.

Sure sounds like a Monday to me.

Thursday, July 21, 2005


Bottom line, I have had an eating disorder. No, it is not currently "active" but, yes, it will probably be something I fight with for the rest of my life. I know this. I am *painfully* aware of this. I am not trying to hide it from you or from myself.

And yet, every roommate I have ever had has questioned me about my eating. Every roommate I have ever had has accused me of not eating. Granted, sometimes I eat more or less than other times, but there are really only about three or four roommates out of the (counts on fingers--takes off shoes--starts over) approximately two dozen roommates that I've had since I headed off to college who were actually living with me during the "active" times.

No, I don't make it a habit to gorge myself in front of others. I eat out-- a lot. I have generally had the good fortune of working places that provide food or have a lot of free food available to me. I have friends who make me food and eat out with me.

Also, given my eating history, I do tend to eat alone some. Sometimes I get food when no one is looking. I am not using the marathon as a weight-loss tool. If anything, I've gained weight in training and it will only make me eat more in order to stay healthy and fit!

I know people are only asking because they're just worried about me and care about me and are looking out for me. But, seriously, I already have a nutrition doctor. Please, just be my friend instead.


Tuesday, July 19, 2005


So, in case anyone aside from my mother was trying to get to my archives and noticed about a year missing, they are now on the side bar. That is all.

News on training: well, I've already succeeded in having an old injury flare up. It's actually an injury that will probably never go away, but will hopefully subside enough through certain measures. I'm getting extra exercises in to strengthen the muscles and am going to try to get it massaged out, because that's about the only way to stretch the muscles. bah.

On top of that, humidity is horrible and strangling. That's that.

Fun fun fun. woo hoo.

At least it's a great cause and the people have been super cool!

OH! And, if you'd like to donate online, here's a link to my page. Remember, it's for the kids. :-)

Ok, I'm outie. Perhaps I'll write something that has nothing to do with weather or running soon. But probably not. ;-)

Friday, July 08, 2005

In the Light of Darkness

I posted those pictures two days ago. Then, yesterday, London was attacked and I almost took them all down because the smiles looked so rude and out of place.

And yet, I left them-- if only to be a reminder that there is still joy somewhere in the world.

I was complaining to a friend yesterday about some trite matter and he said (somewhat tongue in cheek, I believe) that I should think about people in London who have real problems right now. To this I abashedly bowed in defeat.

You see, the thing is this: I *want* to think about the world problems, and yet I *do not* want to at all. There are just so many of them! Terrorism. AIDS. Poverty. Natural Disasters. Ecological Damage. World Economics. Social Security. Homeland Security. Foreign Security. Moral Security.


Which of these things is greater? Which of these should I worry about now? Today? Honestly, I can't worry about all of them. It would crush me. Even Atlas bowed under such weight. I only know of one Man who could carry such a burden and even He cried out to God, "Why have you forsaken me?"

This may sound incredibly shallow-- but it's just so much easier to think about what's going on with me-- and even there lies a root to every one of the problems listed--- sin. There's enough darkness in my own heart. If I thought about the darkness of every heart of the world, I may never smile again.

Thankfully, there was One who did consider every dark heart and who took the weight of it all. One who shouldered the burden and rose in triumph over it. Because He did so, we do not have to be eternally crestfallen. Because He has promised to wipe away every tear one day. And that gives me hope enough to smile.

Friday, July 01, 2005

It's Friday, I'm in Love

I've been marinating this post for a little while, but after reading Dave's about favorite song lines, I decided to pop this baby on to the grill.

I listen to a lot of mellow/sad music. When I want to get hyped up, I have to search through my music for something appropriate-- and it may only be a song here and a song there. There are only a couple of cds that I can pop in and let run without running into downer mode somewhere along the playlist. (no, I don't have an ipod or an mp3 player to make playlists-- or even a cd burner to make mixes. yes, I am bitter about it, so please don't bring it up. thanks) ;-)

Any hooo...

There are certain songs, though, that can make me smile at almost any time- such as The Cure's Friday I'm in Love, or for that matter, basically anything by The Cure. What are the others, you ask? Well, let's see, shall we? (now, remember, these make me happy- so even if they're lame, I hope you understand and will not rain [too hard] on my parade)

Songs That Make Me Almost as Happy as a New Lipgloss:
  • Drop the Pilot--Mandy Moore's version

  • Short Skirt, Long Jacket--Cake

  • Bye, Bye, Bye--N*SYNC (I know, I know)

  • Anna Begins--Counting Crows

  • Guero, E-Pro and Girl--Beck

  • Come Pick Me Up--Ryan Adams

  • Righteously--Lucinda Williams

  • This Is How We Do It--Montel Williams

  • When You Come Back Down--Nickel Creek

  • Love Fool--The Cardigans

  • Kiss--Prince

  • There are probably more, but these come to me off the top of my head.

    What songs make you smile?