Wednesday, March 17, 2004

The South Is Seriously Oppressing Me!

Ok, perhaps it's just the two stores I tried in my semi-ghetto neighborhood, but I could not find any fun St. Patrick's Day paraphenalia! I find this a serious enough atrocity to blame the *entire* South. Yep. And I bet none of those meat-n-three places will see the necessity for corned beef and hash, either. Stinkin' ghetto south. It's about more than green beer people!!!!! It's about blinking "Kiss Me I'm Irish" buttons* and green bowler hats, too! Not to mention pots of little gold-foiled chocolate coins at the end of shimmering rainbows! And shamrock or better yet, four leaf clover, stickers to brand one's cheek and shout to the world, "YES!! I'm IRISH! I love potatoes and little green men! I may call myself or my friends/relatives 'Micks,' but if you do it, BEWARE my flailing fists!" If it weren't so cold there, I'd go to Boston. Or South Bend, Indiana-- but it's cold there, too. As a matter of fact, it's gotten colder here, too! It's all a conspiracy!!!!!

*As a disclaimer, I actually had the opportunity to buy a Kiss Me I'm Irish button at a going out of business sale a few months ago and refrained for fear people might actually take it seriously. I only throw elbows when necessary so I'd rather not extend an invitation that would lead to such violence.