Thursday, November 06, 2003

I knew a girl. Her name was Truth. She was a horrible liar.~Ben Harper

It's not that I wear my heart on my sleeve. It's not that my face reads like an emotional book. It's not that I speak my mind. Oh wait, maybe it is.

I used to be a good liar. Heck, I convinced my parents that I had to cut my hair in 7th grade while they were away because I was up late watching a movie the night before and fell asleep the next day while chewing gum, which subsequently fell out of my mouth and into my hair. I told them I tried to use peanut butter, but all we had was chunky, so I just had to cut my hair off. (Because obviously chunky peanut butter wouldn't work...)

And in 10th grade I convinced my mom that they had to take me to the hospital to treat my swollen-shut eyes because I had used Visine from Mexico. Why had I used the Visine? Because I didn't want her to know I was crying over a boy. Yeah, that's it. --actually, I didn't even know that it was really an allergic reaction to a guinea pig and cannabis (haven't gone near either since).

Now, however, my friends can even tell when I'm lying over IM! Of course, I don't try to hide it all that much. I prefer to be honest with people (to an extent-- and on a need to know/level of friendship basis). Even after years of training, I still make faces when I mess up in a song. After receiving a degree in both Communication Arts and Journalism, I still manage to stick my foot in my mouth and stumble over words (heck, I still manage to do the worst on the Verbal section of the GRE--I did better in Math! what the heck is that?!?!?!).

I'm honest to a fault. I even find lying for the good of others difficult. I will tell you not to get those pants or at least not to pair them with that shirt. I will tell you when you have food on your face or a tag sticking out. I will randomly compliment you-- not to suck up, but because I genuinely believe it. As a friend, I will tell you what you *need* to hear-- straight forward, or hedged. Not because I'm mean or vindictive-- because I love you and I believe you deserve honesty.

That does not mean that I don't heed Thumper's advice: If you can't say anything nice, don't say nuthin' at all. Therefore, you can hardly imagine what I keep to myself. heh heh.