Tuesday, November 18, 2003

May I Take Your Order?

I can't do it anymore. For that matter, I don't know if I ever really did. I mean, I always thought I was doing it, but I guess I've been fooling myself for, well, almost 25 years.

Wait, Melissa, slow down. Fill us in. What the heck are you talking about? We're not mind readers here.

Exactly. We're not mind readers. Not you. Not me. However, for most of my life I have tried to pre-guess people's needs and reactions. Tried to look at life from every angle and determine all possible paths, or at least most.

What? That's crazy! That can only lead to stress and ulcers and utter failure and disappointment!

Yeah, now you tell me. Why couldn't you have said that a million years ago?!?!

I bought super girl underwear today. (stick with me here, I'm going somewhere, I promise) If I would have bought these before, I think it would have been to boast my strength and independence, at least to myself-- and anyone snooping through my undie drawer. Today, however, I bought them because I have matured enough to know that I want to cherish my childhood, my immaturity and inability to solve all problems. I bought them not as a sign of strength, but for fun and comfort. For me. Not for anyone else.

Today I went to breakfast. For me. Not for anyone else. And I sat in a booth by myself. And I read and I enjoyed solitude. I enjoyed taking time for me. To chill. Hmm, fam's home. Looks like time's over.

I wish I wasn't so sensitive to the wiles of the world.

Let me to some wild desert go and make a peaceful home where storms of malice never blow, temptations never come.~ Psalm 55 Isaac Watts